Switch

walletThe best that I can tell, most of the wallet-carrying, male, western world puts its wallets in the back right pants pocket. The back pocket makes sense, but why the right? I blame my father, a lefty, but I’ve always used the back left. No biggie. Good thing pants come with pockets on each side. The fact that I do things differently has never been a problem; more of a curiosity.

I procured a lovely, new pair of wool pants from Banana Republic over the holiday. This morning I put them on and went to put my wallet in the pocket, only to realize, you guessed it, the left pocket is fake.

FAKE. As in, as of today, I am forced to carry my wallet in the same pocket as my brethren. I am uncomfortable and cranky. It’s particularly bad when I am sitting (most of the day). Since I was 6 or 8 years old, I’ve done something one way and now I’m doing it differently. Ugh.

Here comes the hard decision. I now have this pair of pants that I really like, all except for the back pocket situation. I wonder how long it would take my ass to get used to sitting on a wallet on the opposite side. Days? Weeks? Months? Because I’m thinking that this is bound to happen again, and I might as well begin the adjustment and carry my wallet on the same as everyone else. Is that giving in? If so, what are my choices?

I originally thought I’d write about this as a metaphor for a much more interesting, real social problem. Something regarding the fear of and inevitability of change. How we all get stuck doing something one way, thinking it’s right, but one day are forced to make a change; unsure of whether it’s the right choice. The only certainty is that it must be done.

But really, I’m just pissed I have to carry my wallet on the wrong side today. This is crap.

Update
I’m an idiot. Please see the comments for more details.

9 Comments

  1. Posted January 4, 2010 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

    I know you’ll roll your eyes or something after reading this, but I have to ask: Are you sure it’s fake? The pockets are normally sewn up in fancy wool pieces, such as your pants, so that they stay looking classy while strangers rifle through them in the store. Perhaps the right side just already came undone?

  2. Posted January 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    Well, I’ll be damned. You’re right. The right side is buttoned whereas the left is simply sewn shut as you suggested.

    Well crap. I’ve gained a pocket, but lost any meaning behind this post. Does this mean I should run all blog posts by my girlfriend before hitting publish? It could save me a good deal of domestic embarrassment.

    I suppose it all comes out in the wash (wahoo!). Thanks Leslie.

  3. Posted January 4, 2010 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    I have also always been a left-rear pocket wallet guy. Like many things in my life it is one i just can’t explain

    Perhaps the post can be about you’re uncomfortableness about compromising your beliefs: “I must create a system or be enslaved by another man’s”

    or you’re an idiot

  4. Posted January 5, 2010 at 9:20 am | Permalink

    Except I bet those pants are dry clean ONLY.

  5. Posted January 5, 2010 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    Leslie, I’m guessing you’re right. And you’ll be happy/indifferent to know that I’m merrily wearing these pants again, but today my wallet is neatly tucked into the left rear pocket. Ahhh, everything feels right again.

    Doug, perhaps if I wrote about “compromise” and the “system”, that in itself would make me an idiot.

    Is it strange the amount of comfort I find in knowing that someone else out there uses the same pocket?

  6. Posted January 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm | Permalink

    Well, I’m a girl so I realize this is throwing all kinds of kinks, but before I finally gave in to my womanhood and began carrying a purse, I also kept my wallet in my back left pocket.

  7. joel
    Posted January 6, 2010 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    and here i thought wed all swapped to the cash in one of the [safer from prying hands] front pockets, wallet in the man-purse/backpack arrangement.

  8. Posted January 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    Bourdeux is that you? I certainly went the front pocket route when I was in NYC, but I just feel so much safer in Memphis that the back seems perfectly fine.

  9. Dr. Doug
    Posted January 6, 2010 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    I too use the back left pocket, which is odd since I’m right-handed.

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